I was reading another blog this evening that struck a chord with me. It is by a stepmom that has a biological child (or maybe children). In one of her posts, she was explaining why she started the blog and it was to put the birth-mother in a compartment. To have a place to write about frustrations regarding fragmented families, being a stepmom and dealing with the ex-wife/birth-mother.
I’ve mentioned before that I used to have another blog that I used to write about my eating disorder, what it did to my first marriage and ultimately deciding to leave that marriage. It was called “Self-Therapy By Writing.” I started this blog, now that I think about it, as a place to put all of my feelings about the marriage I chose. A marriage, I will point out, that completes me in a way that I never knew possible. Nonetheless though, this marriage comes with baggage that, at times, I have no idea how to handle. So this is truly “Continued Self-Therapy by Writing.”
The other aspect I appreciated about the blog I was reading tonight was when it pointed out that another reason she started the blog was so she would not waste precious time with her husband discussing his ex-wife when that time should be spent more constructively. I wish I knew how many countless hours my husband and I have wasted talking about his ex. She domineers our conversation at times. Granted, sometimes these discussions NEED to happen. They can be constructive, especially when we are discussing our united front in dealing with her and their son. But at times it is also extraneous, gratuitous and pointless. While my marriage is most definitely full of joy, delight and the excitement that comes with discovering the person that I love more than anything on this planet, it is built very delicately and is constantly bombarded with issues that do not plague other families. Such is the nature of our world now.
So I am joining this other step-mom in using this space to, in part, purge my feelings regarding subjects related to her. Ironically, I know she keeps a blog somewhere out there where she probably at times rants about me. Ah, the tangled web we weave.
When I do post about divorce issues, step-parenting, parenting, etc… please feel free to leave respectful comments and suggestions. I’m new at all of this. I’ll consider anything reasonable.
