Relief! Sunday, Jun 8 2008

I had a previous post about being bothered by emotional energy left on furniture and how the current furniture in the nursery for my son was causing environmental issues for me. Well, after more discussion with my husband and making it clear to a non-empath how that furniture made me feel, he agreed to offer it back to his ex to take to furnish their son’s room at his mom’s house.

My suspicions that she was bothered by the nursery furniture being used by me for my baby with her ex-husband was more than confirmed. Even though she had refused it several times, DH offered it back to her again to use in their son’s room in his house. He really didn’t think she would take it due to no room and the fact HE picked it out and HIS parents bought it as a gift.  However, she jumped on it like a turkey vulture to some roadkill.  I was rather surprised that she didn’t at least pretend momentarily to not want it back.  Oh well.  This solves several problems and hopefully everyone can be happy.

My nearly 4-year old stepson has never had his own room.  He still sleeps in his mother’s room at their house (please don’t get me started on my feelings regarding this) but at least at this point has his own bed.  Part of our goals this summer is to get him into his own room (bye-bye my nursery sanctuary) so that he can have his own room when he goes back to his mom’s house in August.  Having “his” furniture back might help with continuity.  I get to pick out my son’s furniture that can be 100% his with no other emotions attached…nor obligation.  And EX can quit filling her head with evil thoughts about me due to me using the furniture.  It is a win-win all around.  Chalk one up for the stepmom.

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Empath, empathy, and going crazy… Saturday, May 10 2008

I think I will focus on empathy right now.  I had an IM conversation with my birth-mom(BM) yesterday. Without going into too many details concerning our relationship and how it got started, I’ll preface all of this with a “we haven’t met in person but occasionally talk on the phone and IM quite frequently” statement.

I am a highly sensitive person in many areas, but mostly have gifts in terms of extreme empathy and profiling people.  The conversation yesterday centered around my gifts vs. my BM’s gifts as well as if any have extended into my younger half-sisters.  Turns out, my BM and I have many of the same abilities.  She has, however, also tapped into the art of healing via Reiki.  Anyway, we both physically feel what others are feeling and can also tap into other’s minds if we are in close proximity, they are dwelling, or sometimes remotely if the other person has some of the same mental gifts.

It wasn’t until I started working through my eating disorder two years ago and going through all of the aspects of my life that led to abusing myself for so many years, that I discovered one of my blessings and curses was my pre-occupation with everyone else’s feelings and emotional states.  I had no idea I was taking on other’s feelings and often could not distinguish their feelings from mine.  For example, if a person around me was depressed, I would start feeling depressed with no catalyst in my own life.  I was wearing other’s emotions.

Now that I know more about what goes on within me, I can now better separate what’s mine and what is someone else’s.  The tricky part then comes with dealing.  I still have not been able to truly separate myself from feeling other’s pain, joy, hurt, depression, anxiety, etc…  I know it is not stemming from within me, but I can’t quite shield myself from experiencing others.

My BM directed me to an empathy quotient test.  I scored a 70 out of a possible 80.  70 is extremely high.  Average score for a woman is 47.  No wonder being around others can sometimes drive me crazy.  The next step up from experiencing feelings is sometimes receiving thoughts behind those feelings.  If someone is dwelling on a particular subject and there are strong emotions behind it, I will pick up on the thought.  It isn’t exactly mind-reading, but close.  It is like a window shade that gets drawn back briefly so an outsider gets a glimpse of a room inside a house.

Anyway, I’m not entirely sure how to cope with this at times.  Life events, poor decisions, causing others pain, feeling other’s pain and depression, etc… drives me nuts.  At times I feel blessed to feel so much and have the ability to help and share in another’s life.  Other times it pulls me back into a place that I’ve worked my way out of for two-years .

Dear readers, if anyone has anything thoughts, please feel free to post.

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Are you an Empath? Thursday, May 8 2008

Are You an Empath? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Certified EmpathYou are a natural born Empath! You are haunted by the calling of “the others” and walk in silence between the busy and the distracted. You qualify for certification by the School of Empath Psychology. From the Book of Storms Series newsletter on Yahoo! Groups. Certified Empath 94% Potential Empath 81% Unbonded Empath 69% An Intuitive 56% Not an Empath 19%

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