All week I’ve been sitting at my desk wondering what the hell is my problem. I can’t force myself to do any real work of consequence to save my life. The constant “processes” talk and “stragetic planning” is driving me up a wall. I waste my time researching things that don’t matter. I procrastinate doing anything of real importance. Seriously, what is my deal?
In response, I “wasted” another half of a day researching possible causes. I came up with, this has always and forever been a part of my personality. Sure enough, after taking another Myers-Brigg personality test, I rang up an ENFP as usual. Every description I read is 100% accurate to how I function, react, relate, etc… Major problems for ENFP’s, especially at work, are in the areas of boredom, follow-through and details. While I consider myself “detail oriented,” I only mean that in terms of “no detail escapes my notice.” I said nothing about that I actually do something about the details nor that I continue to pay attention to them once I’ve noticed. While I’m smart and strategic, I don’t care to see projects through to completion. Discovery is way more interesting than the minutia of bringing the project to life.
Hence hating my job. If my job was truly and 100% about client management, I’d be fine. Nothing makes me happier or energizes me more than helping clients and keeping them happy. However, handling contract details, calling and making sure the other people do their job and actually look at the contract, and fulfilling the contract details is just simply not my thing. We also have a new system that I simply “can’t” use. I hate forced systems. I hate being boxed in and having too many processes (not of my choosing) that I have to follow. While I see the need for such things in general and the big picture benefit, I still can’t stand to use them.
I need to focus on a new career. If I had really thought through everything at 17, I wouldn’t have gone to the same college of my ex-husband (then boyfriend). I wouldn’t have majored in such a generic area (communications). I would have probably gone to Duke or Kansas University… and majored in criminal justice and psychology with the intent of becoming a profiler. Either that or I should have gone to law school like I wanted to before I was stupid enough to give up my dreams to graduate early (college in 3 years) and get married.
Hindsight 20/20. So what have I learned? Stop applying for jobs that require detail management and seeing projects to completion. Smart doesn’t translate into long-term “doing.” Stop applying for jobs at family owned companies masquarading as corporations. Stop applying for jobs in big companies that don’t have a good centralized system of management. Stop applying for jobs in industries that are grossly affected by economic up and downs. Start assessing my God-given strengths in terms of best career matches. Start looking for small-mid sized companies where employees love to work. Interview employees that work there to assess management. Really research a company’s benefit package before deciding to work there. And above all…I need to find something I can be passionate about long-term.
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